Guess who's staying another year.........

Well the first month of this year was prob one of the worst months of my life. Tragic, depressing, heart-wrenching all those words come to mind when I think of it. I mean every damn day was pure shit. I saw Ethan again and I said to myself, ok Jesus, now im sure you hate me. It's a new year (Chinese new year) and things are looking up. I thank my higher power for guiding me and placing people in my life especially my girl Lara. But I always believe life goes on. And I'm a living testament.

So guess who's doing another year in china? Shit I'm just as surprised as you are. I was getting ready to come home In February but now I signed another contract with my school. Plus, my business is starting to grow so I would be a fool to leave and go back to America with no job. The idea of working a real job scares me. Like candy man scary (sidenote you couldn't pay me to say his name 3x in the mirror)

I will return to America for the month of may and June because my best friend is getting married and I'm giving her the best bridal shower and bachelette party ever. Then I'll return to china to finish out my contract. I'm prob going to live here for a while but anything permanent scares me as well so I'm here until further notice. So when people ask me where's my home after 3 years I guess it's okay to say china is my home. That's so crazy to me, being the fact that I'm a black girl from Chicago. Sometimes I just walk here and cry and thank God I'm here. I could still be back in America hating my life and dating a man who cheated on me and got someone pregnant. So when you have faith anything is possible. But let me stop preaching cause I hate people who do that. ( I'll discuss my current religion in another post)

Currently I don't want to get married or even thinking about settling down. Me and chocolate drop are done. And I have done a 180. I'm sure I will get married but at the moment I'm good. According to my reading my aunt gave me(creole powers) this is the year for love. (vomits) but whatever. I just wanna travel and make money. I do have the finest Chinese man in china claiming me tho. He's fine and rich. But whatever. Its early. I may wake up tomorrow and be over it. We haven't had sex yet but it's the beginning and everything is wonderful in the beginning. Damn, I'm bitter.


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Location:Jinan Shandong

Eat Pray Party!!!!!

My best friend package said my life is like eat pray party (I have no love life) and she's exactly right. The beginning of 2013 I said I was going to settle down but I ended the year being single. *shrugs* I tried.
I would say things are pretty simple with me. I'm honest. I have an open door policy and whatever you want to know just ask. The issue that I have is that most men don't live by that. There is no little lie in my book. A lie is a lie. Maybe because I have a little baggage from my past I have no tolerance for someone lying to me. So if you tell me you're on a flight to come see me from atlanta to Chicago but your flight number says your leaving from Utah I'm going to be upset. Just say I had business to do in Utah. When it comes to business i don't ask any questions. I'm also not the jealous girl. Just keep it real. Once you lie, I can never be serious with you. I might play with you but never again can I take you serious.
Then being a girlfriend to a foreign guy is work. You plan all these things for the guy for Christmas and his holiday stay with you , go out your way for presents for him and then the guy "can't get a flight to come see you, and then tells you hell be traveling though out his stay with you. Nor does he tell you before hand. Niggaz to be so quick to say you" you live within me" and then do a 180 in a heartbeat.
I'm over the drunken calls and messages from people. I'm over the " I miss you" I'm on my shut the fuck up" in my Chief keef voice. Hey when my daddy misses me he flies me to where he is. So if you can't prove your words keep them. I'm back to my yellow fever. It's easier. I don't have to do anything but show up and look cute. They're happy with the good morning texts and small things. And they don't lie. Rather they have business, girlfriend, wife, child at least they tell you. This year I'm not focused on marriage or babies. I'm only focusing on money. But I will let a nice guy show me a good time.
Shit I'm showing myself a great time!











New Year's Eve... This year I'm wearing more color..




Fun times with Lara.








My nigga mike




Yep I call him the chinese biggie smalls. I have to work out double the next day hanging with him but he's FUN!! He says all I have to do is give him 3 kids and marry him. That may be the move for 2015

My brothers birthday

Location:Eat pray party

I saw satan today!!

I saw my ex, Ethan..Ha! I sure did! Most people know if you're been reading my blog from the beginning. The one Chinese boy that I really did love and that breakup was horrible horrible horrible! We had social media wars with our status. He said f me and I responded with I'm not a man! Find you a boyfriend since you wanna act like a bitch! I'm not ashamed that that 5'8 little chinese thug had me all the way open. I was in the hoodest club still video chatting him. Got here and he flipped the script. While he was on his period he saw me out with another guy and every since then he's become Satan. I always wondered what would happen if I saw him? Would I slap him? Would I toss my hair? Or push him down some stairs. Would I speak and pretend everything is okay. Or do I say you wanna go! Go! But the name stays here. Change that shit! (You don't know how many times I watch that what's love got to do with it) (read earlier blogs you would understand)
So I'm leaving the gym and I see a man laying down lifting weights. I said to myself damn he looks like Ethan but way fatter! Then he saw me and froze! Then I said to myself "damn that's Ethan he's fat as hell" and walked away. Mediation works. But I haven't seen him in a year. I'm over it! I was heartbroken but I don't have time to worry about that. I'm in a nice heathy relationship which is foreign to me. So Im focused on that and staying skinny. But ladies, ladies he's gained the 25 pounds I lost! So 2 points for us!! Someone have a drink for me!
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Location:Gym in Jinan

I'm over this Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So of course you have bad days! The other day was one. I'm so tired of all this shit and I can't wait to fucking leave. I just need a damn break!!!! I don't know if it's the one meal of day, no carbs but everyone and everything is pisting me off.

For one I live in a nice city with nice people but common sense just isn't something common. My patience has completely dissolved. After running and doing 100 jumping jacks, hella squats etc I come home to no fucking power. Now this morning when I walked downstairs from the 24 floor because the 2 working elevators out of the 3 also wasn't working I didn't complain. Why the hell ALL 3 elevators weren't working when we have 33 floors I will never know. Anyway, I have no power. I go to the power circuit no luck. Go down stairs to the self elected watch man and ask him he immediately says he doesn't understand. So now you can't read or hear my iPhone translate the problem??? Aww okay. This is why they say education is important so you're not outside at 70 years guarding a place in a city where it's .5% violence.

At this point, I'm fuming. I ask someone else and they basically said I didn't pay the bill which I paid over the amount and a deposit. My Chinese friend called the company they didnt even know my power was off!

So I see my neighbor, a male. I've never met but I heard him have sex before. It must been a prostitute cause his house has no furniture. A real Chinese girl doesn't even date you unless you have a house and car. But whatever.... I tell him him I have no power and he's looking like and??!! He's at the door trying to get in his apartment. I tell him to talk to my friend and he says he's doesn't speak English. Hey Guess what?!! I'm not an idiot so why would I give the phone to someone who speaks English when you speak chinese? Better yet couldn't I just talk to you myself? This is what I mean when I say common sense isn't common. Once he realizes his power is off then it becomes a different story. Freaking moron.......

Turns out there was a "fire" when means someone prob burn there pot of noodles and cause a little smoke and they turned the power off in the building. Except for the elevators!!!!!!

I'm just over it.. I love China. I really do but I just need a break like a long one. Everything is irritating me so I know it's me with the problem. I'm tired of people staring at me when there the ones holding a baby with his ass cheeks out. I'm tired of trying on clothes and there not fitting no matter how much weight I lost. I'm tired of people asking me why I'm not married. I'm tired of people offering me advice on stupid shit like I shouldn't take a bath because its too cold. Hey, I rather be sick than dirty. Or what I should or should not eat to loose weight meanwhile no one has a toned tummy and they're eating bread with every meal. Yet, oranges I'm eating is what causing my legs to be bigger. And I really wanna say maybe if you eat some oranges and do some squats with me then you're husband would give you some more than just twice a month!

Now I say all this like I'm not going to be crying when it's time to leave. If I stay anyway for a long period of time I go crazy. I need to go to my happy place: the beach. So I'm going to have an extended stay in Dominican Republic. There I will figure out the next move for myself because I know God didnt send me to China just to teach. I do know I have a special calling for children but that's not what I want to do with my life. I know what I want to do but I'm quiet on it until I figure out a plan for myself.







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Japan

My chocolate drop, sexiest man on the beach!!!!





Japan is beautiful!!!

Location:Okinawa

Holy shit a toilet!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

So I went to go see my chocolate drop and had a beautiful time. We went to Okinawa because he knows the beach is my happy place.. Japan is soo different from china. Here's my top 5 differences between china and Japan.

5. The girls don't wear stuff animals nor do they look like they live in little house on the prairie. I also saw a man with a tupac shirt on. *almost passed out" most chinese men only know flo rida.

4. They don't spit and I saw no babies peeing in the street!! I can breathe the air too!!

3. There's English signs! *almost caught the holy ghost* I was like omg I can read!!!!!!!'

2. No one stared at me like blacks were a myth and I was the first and only one.

1. They have the best toilets ever. Not saying that just because they're aren't any toilets where I come from. Even the public restrooms have toilets that play music etc.








Japenese toilet and it heats too!!






Chinese toilet

Most people don't know that the Chinese hate the Japanese.. Don't ever get them confused!!

Location:Japan

God didn't send me to voicemail!! Yay!

Update on the love life.... Anyone knows I have the craziest stories when it comes to dating and relationships. Like seriously I could write a book. I think dating in china is a little difficult because I don't want to marry a Chinese guy. I know I'm not going to live in china forever and most of them want to live in THEIR country. Which I totally understand. Also I don't think they would ever understand what i would give up to be with them. I like china but its not my home. I'm constantly reminded because i cant read a street sign or anything. no one looks like me. I can't find makeup etc. I was dating a guy I called Mr. Big. He's Chinese. I liked Mr. Big. a lot but he has the entire country throwing themselves at him I knew that I would only be an option. An option he likes to show off for important events. See Mr. big reminds me of that drake song" we might look like we're in love but only on camera, only on camera. And maybe if I was 23 I wouldn't care. At 28, I want more. But I wasn't giving my 100 percent either. The games become exhausting. He's the guy doesn't want to be your boyfriend but will have a stroke if someone talks to you. I want that grade school romance. Do you like me yes or no? Simple. I like you, you like me. Lets play together.

I met a few other people but when you know what you want you're not going to waste time. Like you send a message and they don't respond. Fine erase. I'm tired of playing games or proving to someone how great you are. I gave up.

One day I got a message from my homegirl and she had a friend for me and he lived in Japan. I said ok hell can't get any worse. Well lets just say he's amazing. I'm completely smitten, in like, sprung etc.... I'm like well God was listening to me, I thought he was forwarding me to voicemail. That's my chocolate drop. Yes, he's black! Everyone was in an uproar when I said I don't really date black men. I guess everyone forgot I live in CHINA!!! I saw a black guy in the club and he did a split.. Yes he did a split. I love David Guetta too but damn. Another black guy told me he wanted to braid my hair. So yeah... But my chocolate drop is very special to me so I won't be opening up too much about him. Def turned in my playa card... But leads me to my next post: Japan

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