I saw satan today!!

I saw my ex, Ethan..Ha! I sure did! Most people know if you're been reading my blog from the beginning. The one Chinese boy that I really did love and that breakup was horrible horrible horrible! We had social media wars with our status. He said f me and I responded with I'm not a man! Find you a boyfriend since you wanna act like a bitch! I'm not ashamed that that 5'8 little chinese thug had me all the way open. I was in the hoodest club still video chatting him. Got here and he flipped the script. While he was on his period he saw me out with another guy and every since then he's become Satan. I always wondered what would happen if I saw him? Would I slap him? Would I toss my hair? Or push him down some stairs. Would I speak and pretend everything is okay. Or do I say you wanna go! Go! But the name stays here. Change that shit! (You don't know how many times I watch that what's love got to do with it) (read earlier blogs you would understand)
So I'm leaving the gym and I see a man laying down lifting weights. I said to myself damn he looks like Ethan but way fatter! Then he saw me and froze! Then I said to myself "damn that's Ethan he's fat as hell" and walked away. Mediation works. But I haven't seen him in a year. I'm over it! I was heartbroken but I don't have time to worry about that. I'm in a nice heathy relationship which is foreign to me. So Im focused on that and staying skinny. But ladies, ladies he's gained the 25 pounds I lost! So 2 points for us!! Someone have a drink for me!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Gym in Jinan

I'm over this Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So of course you have bad days! The other day was one. I'm so tired of all this shit and I can't wait to fucking leave. I just need a damn break!!!! I don't know if it's the one meal of day, no carbs but everyone and everything is pisting me off.

For one I live in a nice city with nice people but common sense just isn't something common. My patience has completely dissolved. After running and doing 100 jumping jacks, hella squats etc I come home to no fucking power. Now this morning when I walked downstairs from the 24 floor because the 2 working elevators out of the 3 also wasn't working I didn't complain. Why the hell ALL 3 elevators weren't working when we have 33 floors I will never know. Anyway, I have no power. I go to the power circuit no luck. Go down stairs to the self elected watch man and ask him he immediately says he doesn't understand. So now you can't read or hear my iPhone translate the problem??? Aww okay. This is why they say education is important so you're not outside at 70 years guarding a place in a city where it's .5% violence.

At this point, I'm fuming. I ask someone else and they basically said I didn't pay the bill which I paid over the amount and a deposit. My Chinese friend called the company they didnt even know my power was off!

So I see my neighbor, a male. I've never met but I heard him have sex before. It must been a prostitute cause his house has no furniture. A real Chinese girl doesn't even date you unless you have a house and car. But whatever.... I tell him him I have no power and he's looking like and??!! He's at the door trying to get in his apartment. I tell him to talk to my friend and he says he's doesn't speak English. Hey Guess what?!! I'm not an idiot so why would I give the phone to someone who speaks English when you speak chinese? Better yet couldn't I just talk to you myself? This is what I mean when I say common sense isn't common. Once he realizes his power is off then it becomes a different story. Freaking moron.......

Turns out there was a "fire" when means someone prob burn there pot of noodles and cause a little smoke and they turned the power off in the building. Except for the elevators!!!!!!

I'm just over it.. I love China. I really do but I just need a break like a long one. Everything is irritating me so I know it's me with the problem. I'm tired of people staring at me when there the ones holding a baby with his ass cheeks out. I'm tired of trying on clothes and there not fitting no matter how much weight I lost. I'm tired of people asking me why I'm not married. I'm tired of people offering me advice on stupid shit like I shouldn't take a bath because its too cold. Hey, I rather be sick than dirty. Or what I should or should not eat to loose weight meanwhile no one has a toned tummy and they're eating bread with every meal. Yet, oranges I'm eating is what causing my legs to be bigger. And I really wanna say maybe if you eat some oranges and do some squats with me then you're husband would give you some more than just twice a month!

Now I say all this like I'm not going to be crying when it's time to leave. If I stay anyway for a long period of time I go crazy. I need to go to my happy place: the beach. So I'm going to have an extended stay in Dominican Republic. There I will figure out the next move for myself because I know God didnt send me to China just to teach. I do know I have a special calling for children but that's not what I want to do with my life. I know what I want to do but I'm quiet on it until I figure out a plan for myself.







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Japan

My chocolate drop, sexiest man on the beach!!!!





Japan is beautiful!!!

Location:Okinawa

Holy shit a toilet!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

So I went to go see my chocolate drop and had a beautiful time. We went to Okinawa because he knows the beach is my happy place.. Japan is soo different from china. Here's my top 5 differences between china and Japan.

5. The girls don't wear stuff animals nor do they look like they live in little house on the prairie. I also saw a man with a tupac shirt on. *almost passed out" most chinese men only know flo rida.

4. They don't spit and I saw no babies peeing in the street!! I can breathe the air too!!

3. There's English signs! *almost caught the holy ghost* I was like omg I can read!!!!!!!'

2. No one stared at me like blacks were a myth and I was the first and only one.

1. They have the best toilets ever. Not saying that just because they're aren't any toilets where I come from. Even the public restrooms have toilets that play music etc.








Japenese toilet and it heats too!!






Chinese toilet

Most people don't know that the Chinese hate the Japanese.. Don't ever get them confused!!

Location:Japan

God didn't send me to voicemail!! Yay!

Update on the love life.... Anyone knows I have the craziest stories when it comes to dating and relationships. Like seriously I could write a book. I think dating in china is a little difficult because I don't want to marry a Chinese guy. I know I'm not going to live in china forever and most of them want to live in THEIR country. Which I totally understand. Also I don't think they would ever understand what i would give up to be with them. I like china but its not my home. I'm constantly reminded because i cant read a street sign or anything. no one looks like me. I can't find makeup etc. I was dating a guy I called Mr. Big. He's Chinese. I liked Mr. Big. a lot but he has the entire country throwing themselves at him I knew that I would only be an option. An option he likes to show off for important events. See Mr. big reminds me of that drake song" we might look like we're in love but only on camera, only on camera. And maybe if I was 23 I wouldn't care. At 28, I want more. But I wasn't giving my 100 percent either. The games become exhausting. He's the guy doesn't want to be your boyfriend but will have a stroke if someone talks to you. I want that grade school romance. Do you like me yes or no? Simple. I like you, you like me. Lets play together.

I met a few other people but when you know what you want you're not going to waste time. Like you send a message and they don't respond. Fine erase. I'm tired of playing games or proving to someone how great you are. I gave up.

One day I got a message from my homegirl and she had a friend for me and he lived in Japan. I said ok hell can't get any worse. Well lets just say he's amazing. I'm completely smitten, in like, sprung etc.... I'm like well God was listening to me, I thought he was forwarding me to voicemail. That's my chocolate drop. Yes, he's black! Everyone was in an uproar when I said I don't really date black men. I guess everyone forgot I live in CHINA!!! I saw a black guy in the club and he did a split.. Yes he did a split. I love David Guetta too but damn. Another black guy told me he wanted to braid my hair. So yeah... But my chocolate drop is very special to me so I won't be opening up too much about him. Def turned in my playa card... But leads me to my next post: Japan

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Never think that I'm not from Chicago for one second

So after 2 years of being in China, Chicago has finally came out. It's so funny because if you ask anyone here describe Lauren they would say" always happy and sweet girl" people ask me you get angry? I say yes of course but no one ever does anything crazy so I'm not crazy, if you ask someone in America they would say Lauren's mouth is insane, she's always going off, etc. I really think its has to do with your environment. Living here is really like a break from reality. Life is completely opposite, no fights no murders, and no violence. Everyone is happy. Therefore I'm happy. Then you always got the one nigga that tries you. ( I'm working on not using that word but if describes this man I got into with) About month ago, soutside Chicago came for a quick visit. Lol

So all my friends are like 24 so for a week we all partied and kicked it and I pretended I was 24 too. Not a good idea!!!! In the club: our server was a cutie. After 3 hours of drinking I dismissed the fact that he was a waiter and bagged him. Before you start to judge all I'm saying is that a girl who is 28 who wants to get married and have children shouldn't be wasting time with a waiter who's 24. Plus I make way more money than him and I believe the man should be the breadwinner. Atleast for me and after this situation I'm more convinced.

Anyway the waiter was fine so I bagged him. We talked for a few days and he seemed really cool. I try to be understanding cause I knew he didn't have any money. Again every time I'm understanding it never goes right. Anyway he wanted to teach me how to cook different Chinese dishes. Ok cool. He came to my house and tells me how nice it is, how much is the rent blah blah blah. I think it's average but he acted like I live in a palace. Great dinner we watched some black movies and had a good time. I say aww he's cool.
The next day he had some sob story and said his job was late with his check and he was homeless. American Lauren would have been like ＂and that affects me how?" but china Lauren forgets that some people just ain't shit. So I said I have an extra bedroom you can have it for 1 or 2 nights. Next day is his birthday and we kicked. This nigga brings a plastic bag with all his belongings. In my head I said "hell no" I didn't know should I be confused because all his stuff fits in a plastic bag or did he think he was going to be my roomate. Anyway I took him to dinner for his birthday. During dinner he says some shit like I have no money. Again in my head " I know this nigga ain't thinking I'm a trick? I'm sorry are we fucking?" so I brush it off. Then he says can I loan him some money?" yes. He did! I said I don't give money to men, they give me money. Then towards the end of dinner we leave and he said he wants some cigaretts. Now, I'm over him completely cause I'm just appalled and offended. He asked me for money and he also implied that he wanted to stay with me for good and me be his girlfriend. I said I'll buy you some cigaretts and then I'm going home to sleep. You can stay one night tomorrow you leaving. Get to the counter then broke turd is picking everything up and taking it the the counter and then looked at me. And that when he got cussed out. At the register.. And I left and proceeded to walk home. Now I'm an Aries and my temper is not something I'm proud of. So I'm just quiet. Which is worse because usually I snapped then in 5 minutes I'm not angry. But I didn't want to act crazy so I'm quiet. He's walking with me laughing. Like its a joke. See clearly he only knows happy Lauren in China. He's doesn't know I'm Creole and I'm from the soutside of Chicago. So he's just laughing like I'm telling jokes. Fuel to my fire. Anyway I try to keep my calm and we get to my house. I'm taking deep breaths and counting to 10. We're in my house and I say in chinese. I'm angry and don't want to talk to you. Then he proceeds to touch me and laugh. I said dont touch me. Again I say in chinese, I'm not chinese when I say don't touch me don't touch me. He's laughs and then tries to touch me again.


Now I don't condone violence, my daddy says never hit a man unless you can take a punch. Words i live by.. With that being said i punched him dead in his stomach and knocked his wind out. The guy is like 5'6 and smaller than me. I don't tolerate disrespect not in my house. I also will not allow anyone to take my niceness for weakness. He's on the couch grabbing his stomach. And then all the Chicago language I though I forgot reappeared, things like" on my momma I'm not the one, you think everything is sweet it's not. Try me if you want to. I also provided the best Chinese translation I could possibly give. Then he says something like his friend had an American girl and she would give him money and just like any black girl would say" well go and ask that chick" in fact take your plastic bag of crap with you. This isn't a homeless shelter. Even at dinner he spent the whole time on his phone like I wasn't there. Then he asked me for money 3 times for 3 different lies. Usually I'm calmer but from the end of September to the beginning of November I'm not so nice. It's my grandmothers bday and the day she died in that time period. I don't take it well so I'm already a firecracker in that period. Even my chinese friends said he did what? Are you sure he's chinese?? Im even shocked. That really doesn't happen here. Infact the guys are very old fashioned and pay for everything. Only I would be so lucky to find the only nigga in china.





Ladies if you see him or anyone that looks like him RUN!

Sorry for the absence....

So it's been a long time. Sorry. It's hard for me to be committed to things even if it's a blog. Lol. Been swamped with work and not teaching but my own business. Next year I just plan to travel so i need a way to make money while Im on my vacation. lol I also moved into a way better spot. If anyone has followed my blog from the very beginning then you remember my first house. It was on the 6th floor with no elevator. One bedroom with a very Chinese bathroom and a kitchen. Now I live in Wanda plaza. One of the best areas in my city and I live in a highrise on the 24th floor in the middle of the shopping area including a Zara, my favorite store just because I don't feel like a fat ass when I try on the clothes... My apartment is small but I love it. 2 bedrooms although I used the other one for a closet. Lol. I met a girl named Lara who lives next door and we quickly became best friends. She is the chinese version of my sunshine Ivory. We are really 2 peas in a pod and I feel like I've known her all my life. She's my road dog.... Then I have my 2 brothers...... And I don't use that term lightly... My crew just like in the states is small and tight... I have countless memories that will last a lifetime...





Lara..... I'm trying to hook her up with a foreign guy!! Anyone interested?


My brother Abbaddi


My brother mike


How we get down on weekends.... Can you tell I'm loving my life?