Holy shit a toilet!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

So I went to go see my chocolate drop and had a beautiful time. We went to Okinawa because he knows the beach is my happy place.. Japan is soo different from china. Here's my top 5 differences between china and Japan.

5. The girls don't wear stuff animals nor do they look like they live in little house on the prairie. I also saw a man with a tupac shirt on. *almost passed out" most chinese men only know flo rida.

4. They don't spit and I saw no babies peeing in the street!! I can breathe the air too!!

3. There's English signs! *almost caught the holy ghost* I was like omg I can read!!!!!!!'

2. No one stared at me like blacks were a myth and I was the first and only one.

1. They have the best toilets ever. Not saying that just because they're aren't any toilets where I come from. Even the public restrooms have toilets that play music etc.








Japenese toilet and it heats too!!






Chinese toilet

Most people don't know that the Chinese hate the Japanese.. Don't ever get them confused!!

Location:Japan

God didn't send me to voicemail!! Yay!

Update on the love life.... Anyone knows I have the craziest stories when it comes to dating and relationships. Like seriously I could write a book. I think dating in china is a little difficult because I don't want to marry a Chinese guy. I know I'm not going to live in china forever and most of them want to live in THEIR country. Which I totally understand. Also I don't think they would ever understand what i would give up to be with them. I like china but its not my home. I'm constantly reminded because i cant read a street sign or anything. no one looks like me. I can't find makeup etc. I was dating a guy I called Mr. Big. He's Chinese. I liked Mr. Big. a lot but he has the entire country throwing themselves at him I knew that I would only be an option. An option he likes to show off for important events. See Mr. big reminds me of that drake song" we might look like we're in love but only on camera, only on camera. And maybe if I was 23 I wouldn't care. At 28, I want more. But I wasn't giving my 100 percent either. The games become exhausting. He's the guy doesn't want to be your boyfriend but will have a stroke if someone talks to you. I want that grade school romance. Do you like me yes or no? Simple. I like you, you like me. Lets play together.

I met a few other people but when you know what you want you're not going to waste time. Like you send a message and they don't respond. Fine erase. I'm tired of playing games or proving to someone how great you are. I gave up.

One day I got a message from my homegirl and she had a friend for me and he lived in Japan. I said ok hell can't get any worse. Well lets just say he's amazing. I'm completely smitten, in like, sprung etc.... I'm like well God was listening to me, I thought he was forwarding me to voicemail. That's my chocolate drop. Yes, he's black! Everyone was in an uproar when I said I don't really date black men. I guess everyone forgot I live in CHINA!!! I saw a black guy in the club and he did a split.. Yes he did a split. I love David Guetta too but damn. Another black guy told me he wanted to braid my hair. So yeah... But my chocolate drop is very special to me so I won't be opening up too much about him. Def turned in my playa card... But leads me to my next post: Japan

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Never think that I'm not from Chicago for one second

So after 2 years of being in China, Chicago has finally came out. It's so funny because if you ask anyone here describe Lauren they would say" always happy and sweet girl" people ask me you get angry? I say yes of course but no one ever does anything crazy so I'm not crazy, if you ask someone in America they would say Lauren's mouth is insane, she's always going off, etc. I really think its has to do with your environment. Living here is really like a break from reality. Life is completely opposite, no fights no murders, and no violence. Everyone is happy. Therefore I'm happy. Then you always got the one nigga that tries you. ( I'm working on not using that word but if describes this man I got into with) About month ago, soutside Chicago came for a quick visit. Lol

So all my friends are like 24 so for a week we all partied and kicked it and I pretended I was 24 too. Not a good idea!!!! In the club: our server was a cutie. After 3 hours of drinking I dismissed the fact that he was a waiter and bagged him. Before you start to judge all I'm saying is that a girl who is 28 who wants to get married and have children shouldn't be wasting time with a waiter who's 24. Plus I make way more money than him and I believe the man should be the breadwinner. Atleast for me and after this situation I'm more convinced.

Anyway the waiter was fine so I bagged him. We talked for a few days and he seemed really cool. I try to be understanding cause I knew he didn't have any money. Again every time I'm understanding it never goes right. Anyway he wanted to teach me how to cook different Chinese dishes. Ok cool. He came to my house and tells me how nice it is, how much is the rent blah blah blah. I think it's average but he acted like I live in a palace. Great dinner we watched some black movies and had a good time. I say aww he's cool.
The next day he had some sob story and said his job was late with his check and he was homeless. American Lauren would have been like ＂and that affects me how?" but china Lauren forgets that some people just ain't shit. So I said I have an extra bedroom you can have it for 1 or 2 nights. Next day is his birthday and we kicked. This nigga brings a plastic bag with all his belongings. In my head I said "hell no" I didn't know should I be confused because all his stuff fits in a plastic bag or did he think he was going to be my roomate. Anyway I took him to dinner for his birthday. During dinner he says some shit like I have no money. Again in my head " I know this nigga ain't thinking I'm a trick? I'm sorry are we fucking?" so I brush it off. Then he says can I loan him some money?" yes. He did! I said I don't give money to men, they give me money. Then towards the end of dinner we leave and he said he wants some cigaretts. Now, I'm over him completely cause I'm just appalled and offended. He asked me for money and he also implied that he wanted to stay with me for good and me be his girlfriend. I said I'll buy you some cigaretts and then I'm going home to sleep. You can stay one night tomorrow you leaving. Get to the counter then broke turd is picking everything up and taking it the the counter and then looked at me. And that when he got cussed out. At the register.. And I left and proceeded to walk home. Now I'm an Aries and my temper is not something I'm proud of. So I'm just quiet. Which is worse because usually I snapped then in 5 minutes I'm not angry. But I didn't want to act crazy so I'm quiet. He's walking with me laughing. Like its a joke. See clearly he only knows happy Lauren in China. He's doesn't know I'm Creole and I'm from the soutside of Chicago. So he's just laughing like I'm telling jokes. Fuel to my fire. Anyway I try to keep my calm and we get to my house. I'm taking deep breaths and counting to 10. We're in my house and I say in chinese. I'm angry and don't want to talk to you. Then he proceeds to touch me and laugh. I said dont touch me. Again I say in chinese, I'm not chinese when I say don't touch me don't touch me. He's laughs and then tries to touch me again.


Now I don't condone violence, my daddy says never hit a man unless you can take a punch. Words i live by.. With that being said i punched him dead in his stomach and knocked his wind out. The guy is like 5'6 and smaller than me. I don't tolerate disrespect not in my house. I also will not allow anyone to take my niceness for weakness. He's on the couch grabbing his stomach. And then all the Chicago language I though I forgot reappeared, things like" on my momma I'm not the one, you think everything is sweet it's not. Try me if you want to. I also provided the best Chinese translation I could possibly give. Then he says something like his friend had an American girl and she would give him money and just like any black girl would say" well go and ask that chick" in fact take your plastic bag of crap with you. This isn't a homeless shelter. Even at dinner he spent the whole time on his phone like I wasn't there. Then he asked me for money 3 times for 3 different lies. Usually I'm calmer but from the end of September to the beginning of November I'm not so nice. It's my grandmothers bday and the day she died in that time period. I don't take it well so I'm already a firecracker in that period. Even my chinese friends said he did what? Are you sure he's chinese?? Im even shocked. That really doesn't happen here. Infact the guys are very old fashioned and pay for everything. Only I would be so lucky to find the only nigga in china.





Ladies if you see him or anyone that looks like him RUN!

Sorry for the absence....

So it's been a long time. Sorry. It's hard for me to be committed to things even if it's a blog. Lol. Been swamped with work and not teaching but my own business. Next year I just plan to travel so i need a way to make money while Im on my vacation. lol I also moved into a way better spot. If anyone has followed my blog from the very beginning then you remember my first house. It was on the 6th floor with no elevator. One bedroom with a very Chinese bathroom and a kitchen. Now I live in Wanda plaza. One of the best areas in my city and I live in a highrise on the 24th floor in the middle of the shopping area including a Zara, my favorite store just because I don't feel like a fat ass when I try on the clothes... My apartment is small but I love it. 2 bedrooms although I used the other one for a closet. Lol. I met a girl named Lara who lives next door and we quickly became best friends. She is the chinese version of my sunshine Ivory. We are really 2 peas in a pod and I feel like I've known her all my life. She's my road dog.... Then I have my 2 brothers...... And I don't use that term lightly... My crew just like in the states is small and tight... I have countless memories that will last a lifetime...





Lara..... I'm trying to hook her up with a foreign guy!! Anyone interested?


My brother Abbaddi


My brother mike


How we get down on weekends.... Can you tell I'm loving my life?

Birthday and catch up!!!

I've been MIA and my apologies.. I have 5000 hustles and between my store Fashion Cloudz and my import/ export company I have no time. I've decided that I'm not going to teach next year. Nor, do I really want to work for someone therefore I'm busting my ass now so I can relax more next year. Getting my companies up and running have been extremely stressful but everything now is slowly starting to come together.

My birthday was amazing. Partying with friends and I had a great time! Mr send it does what he does best. Send something. After my birthday we went out separate ways. Well I did. Rich men have a problem with understanding you don't want them. He still has his friends call me trying to reason with me. You can have your momma call, I will still say tell your son go play in traffic. If you want to send something send all my friends to china. Then I will understand. In the words of my grandpa, " I don't take a backseat to anything"

Pics of my birthday







Also went back to Beijing for the David Guetta festival on the Great Wall. I'm starting to slowly like Beijing again.... Lol.

I'se Married Now *in my color purple voice*

Okay so I'm not really married but unfortunately I've come down with the fever: yellow fever. Dammit I swore I was going to get vaccinated after Ethan but I forgot. I swore all the Chinese men off just like bitter women do after a breakup. It's been 3 months so I guess it's time to move on.

My girl who is a housewife ( what I will be) introduced me to her husband's friend. They were waiting outside and he took my hand kissed it and walked me to their section. We are talking and laughing having a good time. Then he whispers I like you. An hour later I meet some of his friends and he introduces me as his wife. Unfortunately my face said what the fuck? I quickly changed it and smiled and said a few Chinese words. I shrugged it off cause I figured he was drunk. Afterwards we take a walk in the park and he takes me home and doesn't try me!!!!!!!
So he's been calling me his wife ever since. I doubled check to make sure he knows my name and the translation for wife. Again with Chinese men there's no bullshitting. If they like you 4real, there all the way in. He's extremely sweet and very old fashioned. He gives me roses, sweet messages etc. the stuff that makes you feel all girly and shit. (Trying to be less thug and more girly bare with me.) All his friends love me.I was raised by strong black women so I know how to serve a man. He always makes sure I'm straight so I have no problem serving him. When I was putting food on his plate and pouring his drinks his friends told me I was a perfect wife. I was thinking well actually I'm not a wife at all but okay. They all know me as dan's wife" ( he has a Extra Chinese name so we will call him Dan)

Our relationship is quite different from me and Ethan. Yes I'm comparing, don't judge me. Ethan def wasn't romantic, no flowers etc. The first time we met we both peed in bushes together. Ethan and I did have a lot of free personal time together. Dan has an assistant and a driver so it's always a group. Dan is mr. I'll send somebody. When I go to the bathroom someone escorts me. He always send someone or something to take his place or a gift so I can't complain. It's hard cause he's ALWAYS working and I work 6 days out the week so when he's traveling I can't see him. I can see why housewives start fucking the pool boy now. Lol. I've been a good wife, after work I come home. No parties etc. Trying to improve my cooking skills and work on my businesses.
Dan is great and I take it day by day. The hardest thing is to try to give your heart to someone after countless disappointments. So I tell myself love like I never been hurt. Even when I want to jap, I ask myself if my ex didn't do that would I even think that? Hell I'm 28 I gotta let go of my fear and settle down.

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Location:I'se marry now *color purple voice*

Everyone loves a Brown Girl

Usually the most asked question I get is how do the men treat you? How is it over there? Are they racist? Etc. With this post I will 100 percent honest (as if I'm never am) and just try to address all racial questions that is usually asked.
Before I moved to China, I was extremely worried that people would hate me because I'm Black. Just like everyone else my only experience with the Asian culture was being followed around the store by one. I was also very ignorant to the fact that its completely different races: Chinese, Japanese, Korean,Vietnamese, Thai, etc. Were almost brainwashed to think as if they are all the same. I would say in America you are reminded of your color far more than most places.
I'm sure everyone may not be treated the same but I can only give account on what I've experienced. Overall being black in China has been a 95 percent positive experience. For my first year here, I kept thinking to myself why are these people so nice to me? Maybe they don't know I'm Black! I live in Jinan, Shandong and that place is known to be a city with the nicest people in China. Some people here say " No, you're not black, you're brown." Other people say you just a foreigner. I can honestly say I haven't experienced racism here.
Now when it comes to relationships I heard people say " Chinese men don't like black women." I also heard that they just want to fuck you." So I'm just going to keep it real. Sure some man just want to hit it. That's just some men are about regardless of race. I also would say I've met 2 different men parents who wanted to MARRY me. So clearly I killed that stereotype and if it was up to someone else I would be married at this moment.


Now of course I've been approached on Chinese social sites by strangers asking me How much do you charge for sex? I usually respond "the same price your mother charges. " Then that conversation is over. I've had guys who tried to get me drunk (which is impossible) and think the panties will slide down so again certain things happen everywhere. For the most part, I feel like they adore me. When you're out with them, it's all about you. They order everything on the menu for you. They always keep your glass full, open doors etc. In the club, they don't even talk to you without buying a drink. I've had guys buy bottles for me and my friends said were were beautiful and walked away. One thing about me I'm fun to be around. Life is short and if I die in the next 5 mins I'm be leaving this world having fun. Chinese men love girls who just want to have fun.
Most of you know I was also in a serious relationship with a Chinese man named Ethan. Never and I mean never did I think I would fall for a Chinese guy. We were in a Real relationship. Holding hands, kissing in public type relationship. He bought my family gifts. Sometimes when you click with someone it has no color. I never dated outside my race until I came here. I also never loved a guy the way I love Ethan and I'm having the hardest time getting over it and that's all the way real.


I also took the liberty to ask a few males about what they thought about foreign women. One friend said it was his dream to have a foreign girlfriend because they are so "free and fun" He said he wouldn't marry her because she wouldn't want to live in china forever. (Atleast he's honest with himself)
Friend number two said he wants a foreign girlfriend then proceeded to put his hand in my thigh. I told him nigga please because he may be Chinese but trust he's a nigga. He said he would marry their if their parents would agree. He has no objection marrying a foreign and said he would prefer to marry one.
I asked friend number 3 about black women and he said I was brown not black. So then I said okay " what's your opinion about brown women. He gave some I'm running for president answer like color doesn't matter bullshit, we all are the same. But the crazy part he really believes that. I hope he never goes to America a cause he's losing his life immediatly.
My last friend said he would date a foreign girl but wouldn't marry her cause he prefers chinese and his parents wouldn't agree. He said he's intimated by them In The bedroom. Judging by his hands he should be. Again another reason why I like Chinese people is because they are very honest with themselves and other people.

Location:Jinan,China